Prepare yourself for some bitching...

Today was a bad bad bad day. I've been sitting here thinking of everything I would like to say to the men that I work with and finally decided to put it in writing. So, men that I work with who do not read this blog, these are my hardships of climbing the corporate ladder and dealing with YOU....

1. Harnessing the male ego. Yes, I am a 23 year old woman working with and for middle aged men and yes, I suppose you men should be proud of your place in the world....but we're not curing cancer here, we're just selling pants...to people who don't even need pants. This, however, does not seem to matter since EVERY man I deal with on a daily basis has an ego proportionate to the size of his paycheck. I don't care that your college roommate was the CEO's son...call me "dear" one more time and I will remove the anatomy that makes you think you can talk to me like that. I understand that the male ego comes from your feelings of inadequacy in your marriage, your body type, your hairline, etc but no, I'm not your "dear" and no, I don't think it's funny when you try to make people cry....and NO, I am not turned on by the power you wield over the world of men's sportswear.

2. Avoiding sexual harassment. Yes, I am a 23 year old woman working with and for middle aged men and yes, I wear skirts and heels and have hair, etc. but I don't need you to tell me that I have beautiful eyes and I don't need you to say "meow" when I walk past you (I'm not kidding) and I definitely don't need a married VP telling my co-workers that he likes the way I walk. I get that we don't have a human resources department so I can't actually do anything about this but....you're all married and old and bald and gross so grow up and leave the girls alone.

3. Dealing with screw-ups. Yes, I am a 23 year old woman working with and for middle aged men and yes, I realize that men delusionally think that they're always right. I understand that in your mind, when you screw up, it's actually my fault and when I screw up, it's always my fault. Guess what? In my mind, when you screw up, it's your fault, and when I screw up, it's because you gave me the wrong information. It's not my fault that my note said "the signs will be there" and you changed it to "the signs will be their" - that's your fault. And for that matter, what business do you have being in charge of anything if you can't use the correct form of "there" or "your"? It's also not my fault that you can't tell a pinpoint oxford from a poplin....please tell me again that you'll "show me what an oxford actually looks like" - I'm the one with a concentration in Textile Science....I'll show YOU what an oxford looks like punk.

Wow that felt good....one day when I'm the VP (or just P) of something, I will rule by intimidation, place blame on everyone but myself and sexually harass my male employees. Or maybe...I'll go against the grain and treat people with actual respect.